Being Mindful of Holy Week

You guys, I've lived 21 Easters. I've put on the big, poofy hairbows and the dresses that match the rest of my family. I've sung the songs. I've taken communion. For TWENTY-ONE years. And I have missed it. I have missed feeling the full weight of God's mercy during the Easter season. Sure, I've been aware of the fact that He died for my sins, but I'm guilty of not always being mindful of it. Being mindful in preparing my heart for this week. Being mindful as I read, for the millionth time, about what Jesus did for me in the week leading up to his death on the cross. 

As Easter approaches, I'm reflecting on the Lenten season. Gosh, it flew by. I'm five weeks into a quieter mind--a mind that isn't consumed by social networking in my spare time, but a mind and a heart that have slowed down to prepare for this week. This holiest of weeks, I am celebrating Christ's sacrifice for me like never before. My heart has never been so burdened by the weight of my own sin or so freed by the ultimate sacrifice that He made. In short, my heart is FULL.

This heart is full because Jesus paid it all. We can't forget that, and we can't become numb to it. Click play on the video below, close your eyes, and sing to Him. Sing it a million times, and pray that the Lord will clear your heart to realize the gravity of it.

A simple "Thanks" will just not do, you guys. Let's realize in this moment that if God never did another thing for us, He has already done more than enough. Let's commit this week to stop asking for more and spend time just thanking him and resting in what He has already done. He's saved us, y'all. Our chains are gone. We've been set free. We are His, and He is ours, and nothing in the world compares to that.

Let's be MINDFUL.

Love to you,

Carrie

So Much Goodness!

Oh, you guys! This heart of mine is so full this week! There's no way that I can convey to you just how thrilled I am over the Lord's faithfulness, but I'll do my best.

I'll be honest with you. I have had a really hard time keeping my nerves at bay during this season of uncertainty and change. As y'all know, Drew's still got a year of grad school in Memphis, and I'll be graduating from Ole Miss in May. I've spent a major portion of my senior year with my nose in grad school applications, and the nerves have, in effect, been building. I've worried that I'd be far from my family and far from Drew. I've worried that, even worse, I might not get into school at all. I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed, but the anxiety lingered. But as I've mentioned before, I have the best friends on earth, and they always come through when I need them most! During a breakdown, my sweet roommate, Samantha, brought a big hug and some bigger words into my pity party. She asked me if I'd considered praying about it. Duh, Sam. I've done nothing but pray since I started this process. Then, she asked if I was praying out of fear or out of thankfulness. If I was praying with a truly grateful heart, I'd be thanking God for the plans that I still wasn't sure about. I'd be confident in his omnipotence and in the fact that my future was being shaped as we spoke. I'd realize that God would always be several steps ahead of my small mind. Whoa, girlfriend. You got me there. I quickly realized that my prayers were lacking the bold confidence that comes from a heart that is wholly trusting. In that moment, I gave it up. I gave up making myself sick over the  next step. I gave up crying. I gave up and gave in to the peace that God wanted to give me from the beginning. Oh, and what peace he gave! The butterflies were still there, but they were just background noise now. I was resting in the truth that my Father had it all under control. And then, God started revealing in big ways the plans He'd be working on all along!

To start, Drew received an email this week from a great company in Memphis, and they have offered him a graduate assistantship! This will bring his tuition down to the in-state rate, and they're giving him a little spending money to boot! He'll be collaborating with an awesome group of doctors and developing a business model for their next expansion. This opportunity is going to be huge in the development of Drew's career, and I couldn't possibly be any prouder of him!

We had a few days to relish in that news, and then God delivered another wave of grace. As I checked my email yesterday, I saw in the subject line "UAMS AuD Program Decision Letter." This was it. This sweet school in Little Rock was my very favorite of the four I'd applied to. We'd been told they were taking only 9 doctoral students for next years class, so the odds were stacked. I took a few deep breaths, and I opened the attached file. The first few words put me in tears..."Dear Ms. Foley, I am writing to inform you that our Au.D. Admissions Committee has recommended, and they have concurred, that you be admitted to our Fall 2013 class for the Doctor of Audiology degree program. Please consider this your official acceptance letter." Lost it, right then and there..but there was more. "We would also like to offer you a graduate assistantship position...out-of-state students holding a graduate assistantship in any semester will pay in-state tuition for that semester." Talk about feeling God's grace! Y'all, it was honestly like being hit wave after wave with more goodness than I could possibly comprehend. I laughed and cried and called Drew and my family. I contacted a couple of people who've played vital roles in my undergrad experience to thank them for what they've done. And then I took a breath. I took several, actually, and I let it sink in just how good the Lord is. He's been watching me squirm, and it's like He just waited for me to sit still so he could bring the blessings.

Oh, what a lesson I've learned. I've learned that the worry just isn't worth it when our plans are in the hands of the One who sees it all. He won't forget about us for a second, and He knows exactly where our hearts are. He knows exactly where our lives fit into His plan, and His plan is good. Rest in that.

Love to you,
Carrie

Words

Hello, all! Per usual, I have taken a few months' hiatus between posts, and I apologize for that. Believe me, it's not because the Lord has been quiet in my life, I've just failed to keep you guys updated. So much of what He's bringing me through now is so very case-specific, but this morning He's put such a universal topic on the table during our time together. Words.

One of the most difficult to control parts of our human nature can be our words. When our feathers get a little bit ruffled or we're having an off day, it seems only natural to just open our mouths and let come what may. Its easy to think that our rash responses or insensitive comments can just be shaken off by the person to whom they're directed. What I'm realizing, though, is that our words have a much bigger impact than we give them credit for. In the same breath, our words can be used to hurt or to heal, to tear down or to encourage, to breathe life or to kill.

Y'all, my prayer this morning is that I would take so seriously the power of my words. That I would use every breath I'm given to breathe life and love and Jesus into those around me. It's such a crucial part of our testimony, don't you think? To keep our witness intact, friends and coworkers need to see us as a source of joy and encouragement instead of a snide remark waiting to happen. They need to hear compassion when we speak, and they need to know that when we open our mouths, optimistic and enlivening words are on the way. Solomon wrote that "a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." Let's commit to being intentional with our words from this point on, y'all. Let's speak life.

Love to you,
Carrie

Ask, Seek, Knock

I am writing tonight as one amazed, humbled girl. I have seen the Lord answer my prayers on multiple occasions, but never so quickly, so boldly as He is doing right now. I'd like to share a little bit of scripture with you today that has just taken on new depth in my heart, and then I'll explain why.

It's the basis of my faith that I take every word of scripture as truth, but y'all know the feeling when God just blows your expectations out of the water? I'm living in that moment right now. I'm singing and dancing in my room in Oxford at 1:30am in this moment. I'm humbled to the point of tears, to the point of laughter, to the point that the only words I can utter are "You are so faithful, Lord." This moment is nothing short of blissful, you guys, because Jesus WILL do whatever we ask in His name, and that is just plain wonderful.

 Maybe I should take a moment to clarify that in His name and beside His name are not the same thing. I have been so guilty of masking my selfish prayers by putting them beside that sweet name.
- "Jesus, please let me be accepted into the grad school that I want to go to. I know it's one of the tops in the country and that is one heck of a stretch, but You, God, You can do anything. Come on. Please? Amen."
-"Jesus, I really haven't prepared like I should have for this exam, but You know all of the answers in the universe. Mind sharing a few with me? Amen."
-"Lord, you know that Sally Sue's attitude is the pits. Please work on her before she drives me crazy." (and all God's people said "amen," am I right?)
Guys, I am so ashamed by the prayers that I sometimes catch myself uttering. I'm ashamed that I've been guilty of taking scripture out of context. God never said "Whatever you ask for your benefit, this I will do, that you, Carrie, may be pleased. If you ask me anything that your sinful, earthly heart desires, I will do it." And what a relief it is that those were not His words! He never told us that we'd always get what we want, but he did say that He will always grant requests that are asked in His name with the intention of glorifying Him.

So, what answered prayer, specifically, am I talking about? Girlfriends, y'all. I'm talking about girlfriends who pray with me, who pray for me, who pray circles around my life. Girls who love Jesus and whose hearts are centered on His love and grace, making it natural for them to exhibit love and grace in our friendship. Girls who are more than surface-level pals. Girls who love me with a love like Paul describes in 1 Corinthians--patiently, kindly, selflessly, gracefully, and girls who don't rejoice in my wrongdoing, but get on their knees and pray me into the right direction, the right attitude, the right spirit. After a good little stretch of whining to God that "there just aren't enough women like this," I decided to hit the floor and pray hard about it. I prayed hard that He would show me just one, and that would be enough. Praise the Lord, for He does not settle at giving His babies just "enough!" Did you see the second verse in that picture up there? He loves us and wants to give us good things, even more good things than our earthly parents want to give us. Even more than we want to give to the people we love most...because we simply can not out-love Jesus. So he gave me not one, but several sweet, God-fearing ladies who have filled my heart and loved me unconditionally. He gave me friendships that, instead of distracting me from His goodness, draw me nearer to Him. I am so thankful that He did, y'all, because girls just need other girls. We find so much fullness in fellowship with other women because their hearts so closely match our own--women's hearts desire a love and comfort that only Christ can give. Next to that love, the love of sweet, Godly friends is one of the greatest blessings we can ask for. Go ahead. Seek. Ask Jesus for friends like that--he promised that, if it glorifies Him, it's as good as ours. Sweet deal, huh?

Prayers for Day One

Drew,
Happy first day of grad school, my man! It's impossible for me to put into words how proud I am of you. You have worked harder than anyone I know, and I'm confident that your performance will continue to be top notch in this new environment. The Lord has provided you with such intellect, drive, and interpersonal skills that I know you'll be phenomenal.

 I have prayed for you all morning long, the culmination of three months of requests that the Lord would see you both mentally and spiritually prepared for this step. I prayed that your nerves were stifled and your slacks were ironed. I prayed that you'd be in this for the acquisition of both knowledge and experience. I prayed that you'll learn a lot about taking care of others while remembering to take time for yourself. I prayed that you'll remember where you started, but to never take your eyes off the future. More than anything, I prayed that you'll pray; pray about class, about work, about your dreams. Pray for your family and pray for me, that we'll all keep blooming even though we're planted in different places. Pray for your new classmates, that they'll flourish, too. And pray that you'll all learn from one another, so that at the end of two years you'll have picked up a lot more than textbook knowledge.

 I'll be here to cheer you on during every test and every long night with your books. I love you so much, and I can't wait to hear all about your first day!

"Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

The Sweetest Summer

Oh, I was dreading this summer, you guys. Spanish class five days a week was not what I wanted penciled in my little planner, but thus is the reality of an almost-senior who waited just a tad too long to declare her minor. So, Spanish, I did. I spoke it. I dreamed it. I translated everything I saw or heard, from the back of my shampoo bottle in the morning to Michael Jackson lyrics on the way home. Now I've got six semesters of it down and only three to go! But, in between the essays, grammar manuals, and exams, I did manage to squeeze in one of the best summers of my life. No, I couldn't get away from Oxford long enough for a to-die-for vacation, but my days off couldn't have been sweeter. Here are a few of the highlights:

I moved into this little casa with four of my best friends. We have laughed, cried, and played so much in these two quick months, and I am so excited for the rest of this year I'll have with them. There really is nothing better than sitting on that porch, plugging in an iHome, and chatting the night away with my best gals.

Drewbie and I spent a Saturday at the St. Jude Classic golf tournament. I was sweating my tail off, but it was so much fun to see him in his element. I also bought my first set of clubs this summer. They're pretty sassy, but it only takes about three holes to wear my patience thin. Drew says it's going to take some time, but I'm thinking maybe golf just isn't my thing..?

I spent my last couple of weeks with my nursery school babes.(Aren't the mustaches cute? It was France week for the 3 year olds.) My fall schedule just isn't going to leave me time for afternoons with them, but I plan to pop in every now and then for hugs and kisses. Oh, these kids are such blessings!

Drew and I marked through one of our must see before we die concerts. James Taylor was every bit as incredible as we expected him to be. Here's a little Fire and Rain treat for ya!

We moved Drew to Memphis. Here's his man cave/diva pad. It was, once again, a mix of emotions, but I am so excited for all that he is about to do! Proud of you, guy!

I turned 21! Celebrated with a little porch sitting, and....

...Drew treated me to a weekend in New Orleans! Oh, we had a ball, just filling up on gumbo and macarons. It was the perfect treat just before we have to separate for the semester!

It wasn't a glitzy summer by any means, but it was just wonderful. I was able to spend lots of time with my family, my girls, and my guy. Really couldn't ask for much more, huh? I hope you all had a wonderful summer, too! Good luck getting back into the swing of things!

Happy August!

It's True What They Say..

...absence really does make the heart grow fonder, you guys.

For those of you who don't know, my main squeeze will start grad school in Memphis this fall. Praise the Lord, we are so excited at the prospect of fulfilled dreams! We are, however, having to  make a few adjustments. For the past three years, Drew has been in Oxford, we have been little more than a stone's throw from one another, and spending time together has been a breeze. Our parents even live in neighboring towns, so with the exception of a few girls' trips/"male bonding experiences", we haven't yet known the meaning of  distance. This summer, though, after weeks of gradual packing, we loaded up everything in his comfy condo, and, just like that, our norms changed. I spent half of the move smiling as I encountered countless old photos, handwritten notes, and corks from the cheap bottles of wine that joined us on the deck almost every weekend. The other half, I spent kicking and screaming calmly expressing my concerns about the impending changes. The past 2.5 weeks without him here have seemed like a lifetime, but I've come to a few realizations.

1) This is a season. 
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." - Ecclesiastes 3:1
I am overjoyed, humbled, and thankful for the season of togetherness the Lord granted us.  In the early stages of our relationship, time to get to know one another without the difficulty of travel was such a blessing. And while I know that our time to love (v.8) is far from over, it is currently overlapping Drew's time to gather stones together (v.5). The next two years are his time (mine too, really) to focus on building a foundation for the future. Time to gather what it takes to live the life we are so avidly looking forward to. You gather those stones, babe. I'll be cheering you on, just don't expect me to drop Hotty Toddy in favor of Go Tigers!

2) This is a year for the girls.
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man (woman) sharpens another" - Proverbs 27:17
With Drew in Memphis, I will have more time to cultivate existing friendships. I want my final year at Ole Miss to be spent making the most of the community the Lord has placed me in. Gals, we have spent the last years together, transitioning from girls to women (Britney Spears lyrics are awkwardly fitting, but I decided not to go there.), and learning from one another. You've all seen me struggle on many levels, from burning dinner to overcoming troublesome areas of sin, and I am a better woman for the guidance you all have given me. I promise to spend this year making every effort to sharpen you all as you have sharpened me, to be encouraging when you need it, and to love you as my sisters in Christ.

3) We will be blessed for our faithfulness during challenging times.
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." -Hebrews 10:23
God is faithful in Oxford, in Memphis, and wherever else He may decide to take us. I know that Satan would love for the stress of the coming two years to steer me from Christ as I frantically try to survive the school-family-friends-work-boyfriend circus. I will do my best to adjust to these changes without wavering, without losing sight of Him. As our lives are altered, I pray that our focus won't be. I pray that the distance from one another will cause us to draw nearer to our Lord than we ever have. I know that he will remain faithful. He will see that we pass through this season with flying colors, and He will see that we come out of it better than ever.


As I say these things, I know that they are more goals than realities at this point. I plan to pray over these three passages incessantly until they are active in my life. I can't promise that you'll always see me keeping it together this year, but I can promise that you will see me thankful beyond measure for the opportunities this time will bring. 


Thank you, Lord, for your goodness!